Monday, June 1, 2015

NEVER Let 'em Tell You, You Aren't Good Enough or You Can't

I'll start off getting straight to the point.

Don't EVER let anybody tell you that you aren't good enough, you can't do this and you can't do that, you aren't strong enough, courageous enough, smart enough, young enough, etc.  Don't let anybody in your life shove those thoughts into your head.  You're better than that.  If people in your life treat you like you aren't capable of things that in your heart and soul you are so passionate about you KNOW you can do, those aren't the people you need in your life.  End of story.  No Exceptions!

I've lived most of my life hearing the same BS come out of everybody's mouth anytime I wanted to step outside of the proverbial box and try something those same critics either didn't have the creative capabilities to do, or just didn't care enough to do it.  But you know what, I'm still here, and I'm doing and living exactly the life people never thought I would have.

I'm not rich, I don't have a million dollars sitting in a bank account, etc.  Hell, I'm one of those people that lives paycheck to paycheck.  I love critics who say "Oh, that's not a good way to live."  I find it ironic that those same people who say it's not a good practice are the ones who have usually been brought up in well-off families and don't understand the struggles it takes to make something of yourself when you have nothing to start with, living on Welfare, being excluded from childhood field trips because you couldn't afford to go and being laughed at because of it.  Such is the story of my life, but that story is a long ways away from being told, simply because it's a long way from being completed.

My point is this.  Everything I set my mind to do, even when I was a child, in my teen years and as an adult, I accomplished on my own, when most everybody told me I wasn't good enough, energetic enough and all the other things negative people would say to you. 

When I wanted to start playing the Violin in 3rd grade, I was told I wouldn't be able to do it.  Well, I played until my junior year of high school, accumulating multiple 1rst and 2nd place awards throughout the years for my solo recitals, etc.  And what did this geeky kid listen to? Classical? Yeah, right.  I listened to Pop, Techno (yes, old school mix tapes abound) and of course, Rock.  I then went on in my life to start composing music of all genres.  Do you know why I started writing music? Because I was told that I couldn't.  I had a ex-girlfriend who lived with me that considered my classical music I would compose "playing on your computer".  Playing? Really? Well, later on, that "playing on my computer" turned out to give me opportunities (which I didn't take) to write background music for video games.  Ironically, do you know why I never took the chance to move to California and do it? Well, because again, I was conditioned to the old "what, are you crazy?" attitude.  I wrote music because I could, because it made me happy and also made me realize I could do something most people couldn't.  I gave that up years ago and recently just started learning how to play the guitar.  That's another story for another time.

When I bought my first motorcycle (Honda CBR) everybody said "You bought a bike? Are you crazy? You can't ride one of those things."  Well, guess what, I basically taught myself how to ride one, and even though I had a fear of it, I wanted that more then the fear I had of it.  I've owned 2 since then.

When everybody was partying in high school, and I was the 15 year old "playing with computers", I told everybody I know that this was what was going to make a career for me later on in life.  They thought it was an excuse.  Oh, I'm sorry, but at the age of oh, 19, I was working 2 jobs, one as a part time computer consultant and one as a computer sales guy.  This, coming from someone who was "playing with computers" for 4 years, working his entire summers since his freshman year in high school as a lifeguard, working side jobs throughout those 4 years to pay for things I needed for High School and all the while, watching everybody else living it up.  Oh yeah, this all was going on while at 15, I was also learning how to drive, in a manual transmission car, again, hearing "What? You can't learn how to drive in a stick.  That's too hard".  Yeah, right.  I was driving a sports car before I was 18 and with no accidents to this day under my belt, while everybody else I knew was wrapping their mommy and daddy's cars around trees and other cars.

When I hit 21, I was hitting the clubs like there was no tomorrow, completely turned my attitude and personality around and ironically running into people I grew up with.  They were all shocked, to say the least.  I eventually moved from the techno scene to the underground house music scene. Even played a little drums with the DJs here and there.

What's my point? All of these things in my early years were things almost everybody told me I couldn't do, but I did them, because I refused to listen to people tell me I wasn't good enough to do those things.  I had a passion for wanting a better life.  It drove me every day to better myself, to forget about the morons that made fun of me, since I was the skinny tall kid.  Well, I'm the one with the big house, hot wife and nice car.  I wonder where all of those people are? Oh wait, I've heard of a few, and they are stuck in dead-end jobs, hell, one is still working at the same bar he's worked at since we graduated high school.  Hm, and the irony of that being he was one of the partiers and I was the the "dork playing with his computer".  I went out ALL the time, but I rode my bike 20 miles a day, and almost started racing professionally when I was only 18.  I decided not to so I could pursue a computer career.

But the dorky kid from high school, who coincidentally in his senior year had a girlfriend whom every other guy in school wanted to be with, refused to listen to the negative BS and rose above it.

That was 20 years ago.  I'm 37 now, look like i'm about 25, feel like I'm 18 and where have I come?  I'm at a point where I realize ya know what, I'm tired of seeing people being brought down all the time.  I'm tired of seeing that woman crying because her husband is an asshole and tells her she isn't good enough to do anything but be a house wife, and her actually believing it, or the high school kid that wants to play in the NFL, who's parents and friends tell him he's no good and laugh when he talks about it.

Where I'm at now, is here to tell anybody that will listen that the old saying of you not giving up and believing in yourself is absolutely true.  AND, I won't even get into all of the hurtful relationships I've had.  I've been cheated on more times then I'll talk about, but did that stop me from wanting to be with someone else? No.  Did I give up and start saying "All women are cheaters" and all that BS that comes from multiple bad relationships? Absolutely not. Hell no.

This is just a taste of the negativity I've been through in my life, and it's made me a good-hearted, caring, strong person with a sensitive side that won't hesistate to stand up for the little guy.  Here's another one for you; sensitivite does NOT mean weak, because I'll tell you right now, if I ever see a man lay one hand on a woman, he better start walking away as soon as I look at him.  This sensitive, emotional, straight-from-the-soul passionate guy is also a guy that doesn't take crap or BS from anybody. 

To wrap up this crazy all-over-the-place post, I want to tell everybody out there that no matter what negativity you face in your life, no matter who doubts you, no matter who tells you that you can't do one thing or another, I'm telling you right now, that's complete nonsense.

A strong mind is the most powerful weapon in the universe.  Your will, passion and drive are things NOBODY can take from you, regardless of you being rich, poor, healthy, sick, etc.  Don't ever let anybody take those things from you.  I'm living proof.  If you want something bad enough, you'll get it, believe me.  The secret is just simply this; never give up and never let anybody tell you that you can't do something or that you aren't good enough, because I am telling you, it's complete nonsense.

Just so you all know, I paid my way through college completely on my own.  I bought my own cars (all 19 of them I've owned so far), my motorcycles, my house, etc. all on my own with no help from anybody.  I worked those 2, and at one point, 3 jobs, just to pay for everything I needed, and rarely had anything left over for what I wanted.  I worked my way up from growing up poor to being who and where I am today.  Anybody that says you can't do that has no clue what they are talking about.

So, whatever you are thinking right now, the "Yeah but" this and that, "but you don't understand", blah blah blah.  I DO understand, because I've been there, and understand this when I say, let all the negativity go and start believing in yourself.  Once you do that, it doesn't matter if anybody else in the world does, because once you do, it's on, my friends.